Ah yes, the transfer deadline has passed, but you didn’t think that meant the end of stupid rumours did you? Pshaw, this is football. The rumours must flow! And so here we are, hearing from HITC, who heard from Corriere del Mezzogiorno (who heard it from Becky, who heard it from...) that Tottenham Hotspur were very keen on acquiring the services of Faouzi Ghoulam this summer.

It makes a certain amount of sense, too. Ghoulam seems to fit with the style of play that Mauricio Pochettino likes to use with Spurs, and they could have used a back-up for Danny Rose. There was also the fact that Ghoulam was linked with myriad other clubs (including a few in the Premier League) and seemed at some points to be on his way out.

So why is this a stupid rumour? Well, let’s go to literally the best source of Spurs news I know: Dustin Menno, managing editor of Cartilage Free Captain. He, more than almost any writer around, makes it his business to know everything about Spurs. And here’s his reaction when I asked him about this rumour. “I have never heard this rumor. But HITC is traaaaaaaaaaaaaaash.”

There you have it. And, in case you think the rumour had any legs and want to disagree with Dustin (hey, that’s your right), there’s another small hitch. Ghoulam seems poised to sign a new contract that will keep him with Napoli through 2022. So even if Pochettino wanted him, it’s too bad.

For many of you, this has been a sweet sweet hit of that stupid rumour dust. For that, you’re welcome. For others, you had hopes that the window’s close would bring a brief reprieve from this madness. For this, I am sorry.

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