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Hoping it's not Henrique

Rafa, when we requested Napoli strengthen the defense, we meant with a player that could actually defend.

Jasper Juinen

Earlier today, there were rumors coming out of South America that Brazilian centerback Henrique has signed with Napoli. Now the player's agent is denying those rumors, sparked by a journalist in the region. The agent, however, insists that Napoli have made contact for the player.

The 27 year old is described as a Brazilian "international", although he's had just four callups in the past eight years, all for friendlies. Barcelona bought him from Palermeiras in 2008, which must have made him look nice and shiny, but he never played for the club, getting loaned out to Bayern Leverkusen and Racing Santander. When people cottoned on that he's not actually that good at football, Henrique was sent back to Palermeiras. Who are now in Brazil's second division.

Rafa, I know we said we needed a defender, but come on - this is ridiculous. Bringing in a sloppy centerback who can't actually help strengthen the squad or even give poor Raul Albiol a day off...well, that's worse than nothing. Get on the phone and convince Arsene Wenger to give us Thomas Vermaelen, at least.

Hopefully, this one is pure bullshit. After all, we almost always know about a signing before it happens, what with Aurelio Di Laurentiis unable to resist the lure of his Twitter account.